Emotionless
by Random Dice
Summary: Do you remember how old we are? I’m seventeen, Robbie’s fifteen, Elise is thirteen, Jason is eleven and Ariel is nine. You never wrote cards to us, but Mom made up for that. For you being gone...
1. Chapter 1

A/N: Okay, so I wrote this a while ago, just trying to pass time in between taking STAR tests… So, Tony is kind of an ass in this one, but…Hey, it goes with the song, so enjoy…

Disclaimer: I don't own the song or NCIS characters…

Emotionless

Anthony D. DiNozzo, better known as Tony, jogged out to his mailbox, looking for an envelope. He pulled the mail out of the metal mailbox and looked at what he received while walking slowly up to his front door.

Bill, bill, bill, magazine, bill. _Maybe he didn't write back_ Tony thought sadly. _Oh, wait!_ Stuck between two bills, was a hand written letter to one Tony DiNozzo from Washington, his old address marked down in the corner.

He back inside his house that was in the middle of LA. He sat in his chair, one he had in his living room. Tony ripped the paper that was encasing his letter open.

He pulled out lined paper that was folded into three sections, so it could fit in the envelope. A CD fell out. Written in red sharpie, '_Family_' was across the front of the disk. He frowned, but proceeded to unfold the note.

_"Dear…You."_ It read.

"_I don't know what you expected to be reading. I mean really? After ten years, you just write a letter saying 'Hey, it's Dad! How are the four of you and Mom? Here's my address, write back!' I'm writing to ask: Are you fucking stupid? What fucking right do you have to fuck up our family? _You left us ten years ago!

_I was seven years old! And Mom told me that Dad left. I was so heartbroken. I asked her if I had to be the man of the house now that you were gone, she just smiled and hugged me so tight, telling me that I could, but only if I wanted to be. I did. So I am. I offered to do chores, kept my brothers in line, cheered them up, and watched them siblings when Mom had to work. She worked a lot._

_But she was always there! Even though she took care of us on her own, BY HER-SELF, I might add, she was still there making breakfast every morning, every lunch, every dinner, came to every game, dance recital, parent-teacher conference. Always there to help with homework or project. You were never there. You just left._

_And yes you did read right, dance recital. Mom was pregnant when you decided to make like a banana and split. My little sister's name is Ariel Abigail. Mom wanted to name her after Aunt Abby and Uncle Ari. I thought I'd tell you because you hate him so much. I thought it was funny._

_Why after all these years, after leaving your wedding ring on a note that said you couldn't do it anymore, why contact us now? Mom nearly collapsed when she say the letter, ya know? She cried. CRIED! I took it from her and Robbie, Elise, and Jason held her. Ariel didn't know why Mom was crying, but hugged her too. It's just like old times. When you left, Mom cried all the time. We just piled into her bed and we all cried together._

_Did you know that Mom had to beg Grandpa Eli for money so that she could feed us? She did, and you know how Mom is about her Dad. He wouldn't do it at first, give us the money, but when he found out it was for food, he and Grandma jumped on the first plane to make us meals. Mom and the rest of us were so excited._

_They were mad, Grandpa and Grandma, because we didn't have any food in the house. Mom told them that we went to Aunt Abby, Uncle Tim and Grandpa Gibbs' to eat, which we did sometimes, but Mom use to go skipping meals so we could eat._

_She got sick; Grandpa Gibbs had to take her to the hospital. Her blood sugar was too low and she passed out. That's why Aunt Abby and them started to make us go over there for dinner every day. _

_Mom hates getting money from Grandpa Eli, but I heard him telling her it was okay to do so, he just wanted to see us more, Grandma did too. He comes over on Birthday's, even Mom's, with Grandma. They get along better now. Mom calls them every Friday and sometimes we have video conferences. It's fun._

_Aunt Abby and Uncle Tim got married a few years back. Have a son and daughter. T.J. is named after Uncle Tim and Katie, after Kate. T.J. is eight and Katie is five. Little Goths they are._

_Do you remember how old we are? I'm seventeen, Robbie's fifteen, Elise is thirteen, Jason is eleven and Ariel is nine. You never wrote cards to us, but Mom made up for that. For you being gone. She's the best. Sometimes I hear her pray, thanking you for giving her us. That's Mom, thanking the fuckface that abandoned us._

_Remember when I use to say I wanted to be just like you? I don't, not anymore. I'm going to be a tattoo artist. Mom let me give her one with the kit she and Aunt Abby bought for me for __Chanukkah/Christmas. She loves it._

_I even got to give one to Aunt Abby. It's pretty cool if I do say so my-self. Grandpa Gibbs' is letting Ariel, Jason, Elise, Robbie and I help him build a boat. We're almost finished on our third._

_Look, I didn't write this letter to tell you what you missed. Just that we don't need you. We don't even like you._

_Sometimes, I forgive you. Some days, hating you just takes to much energy, but then, I remember, and the hate comes back. Just leave us alone. We've been doing fine without you._

_ Hate you,_

_ Tyler David_

_P.S. Yes, we changed our name back to David. You're the only DiNozzo,_ Dad_. Fuck you._

Tony dropped the letter on his lap. That's really how his own son feels about him. He hates him? Why didn't he leave an address? Or a number at least. He just picked up his stuff and left.

He, then, remembered the CD. Tony jumped up, grabbed it and rushed over to his PC laptop. He put the disk in and the DVD movie player popped up.

TBC…

A/N: Yes, I know Tony would never do that, let's just say for the sake of the fic, he had a middle life crises and left Ziva pregnant and with their four sons.


	2. Chapter 2

A/N: Okay, so I wrote this a while ago, just trying to pass time in between taking STAR tests… So, Tony is kind of an ass in this one, but…Hey, it goes with the song, so enjoy…

Disclaimer: I don't own the song or NCIS characters…

Emotionless

A song he had never heard came wafting threw the speakers. The screen was still black when the lyrics started.

_Hey dad__ '**Emotionless**'_ moved across the monitor._  
I'm writing to you_ '**By**?' came a second after that… 'Tyler, Robbie, Elise, Jason, Ariel'. His kids made this Tony realized. '**Tyler, Bass. Elise Guitar, Jason back up vocals, Ariel drums, Robbie lead vocalist**'_  
not to tell you, that I still hate you _A picture of the boys ten years ago streamed by._  
Just to ask you_ A lot of pictures of them and Ziva came on, ones he noticed that he took._  
How you feel  
and how we fell apart  
how this fell apart_ as the slideshow continued, Ziva got bigger, obviously pregnant with Ariel.__

Are you happy out there in this great wide world? The movie's pictures jumped to when Ariel was born, she was, what looked to be, four months old._  
Do you think about your sons?  
Do you miss your little girl?_ Birthdays flew by. He saw Gibbs in the pictures with the kids, along side him, Abby and McFinally, Ducky sometimes and Jimmy would make their ways in. _  
when you lay your head down  
how do you sleep at night?_ First days of school pictures, all of them dressed all nice._  
Do you even wonder if we're all right?_

but we're all right  
we're all right A Christmas family picture popped up, the six of them smiling while someone took their picture__

it's been a long hard road without you by my side  
why weren't you there all the nights that we cried  
you broke my mother's heart  
you broke your children for life  
it's not ok,  
but we're all right  
I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes  
but those are just a long lost memory of mine  
I spent so many years learning how to survive  
Now, I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive They grew before Tony's eyes and it made him tear up. He missed so much of their lives and they didn't even want him back.__

the days I spent so cold, so hungry  
were full of hate  
I was so angry  
the scars run deep inside this tattooed body  
there's things I'll take, to my grave  
but I'm okay  
I'm okay

it's been a long hard road without you by my side  
why weren't you there all the nights that we cried  
you broke my mother's heart  
you broke your children for life  
it's not ok,  
but we're all right  
I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes  
but those are just a long lost memory of mine  
Now, I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive  
yeah, I'm still alive

sometimes  
I forgive  
yeah and there's times  
I'll admit  
that I miss you, said I miss you Ariel was about five in the video. Five years ago. This was how they felt, their father had left them, abandoned them, and Tony should have known it was going to be hard to raise four, plus the one he didn't know about, kids on her own. He really screwed Ziva over.__

it's been a long hard road without you by my side  
why weren't you there all the nights that we cried  
you broke my mother's heart  
you broke your children for life  
it's not ok,  
but we're all right  
I remember the days, you were a hero in my eyes  
but those are just a long lost memory of mine  
Now, I'm writing just to let you know I'm still alive Tony thought it would be cool to live in LA, and it was, but he was self fish. He never thought about what his leave would do to his children. It was all about him, him, him.__

And sometimes  
I forgive  
and this time  
I'll admit  
that I miss you, I miss you  
hey dad The screen was black once more and Tony reached over to shut it off when something popped up. A boy probably sixteen, seventeen, long shaggy hair that reached his shoulders, dark brown. His eyes also a deep brown, and he had tattoos covering his body.

The next looked eleven, light brown hair with mossy green eyes. His hair had the bowl cut, but it looked like he was growing it out.

The other boys, thirteen and fifteen, both had green eyes like the younger boy, and dark brown, almost black to a point, hair that was shoulder length like the oldest one.

The last person was a girl, little, a kid and was a mini-Ziva.

It was his kids.

TBC…

A/N: Sorry it took so long…Here it is…Ta da!


End file.
